I am sure you have experienced this...setting yourself an unrealistic amount of things to achieve in a year (probably even every day, week and month as well 😭 )
So this post being in 2024 rather than in 2023 is me sharing with you that although I am a mental health & neurodiversity coach, as well as a businesswoman, educator, Mum of 2 fur babies and partner to my wonderful boyfriend, I also have been culprit to setting unrealistic expectations of myself.
And as a coach, this is what I witness not just at the beginning of the year but all year round. And absolutely no offense to my male readers/watchers/clients, this I see more frequently in the ladies. One exception being if you're ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). One of my clients in particular springs to mind who in 1 week learnt how to video edit, made music videos and a cooking video to help his son learn how to cook (if you are reading this, you know who you are and you are absolutely amazing 😘 )
Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely amazing to be ambitious and motivated HOWEVER...unrealistic expectations and pressure can lead to burnout and if you aren't winning then this will easily lead to a decline in self-esteem, confidence and a big whack to your mental health.
How can I achieve whilst prioritising my mental health and wellbeing? (I hear you ask 😊 )
1. Awareness....how consciously aware of yourself are you? Do you know when you are putting too much pressure on yourself? Maybe you're hyperfocussing on something you are passionate about and unaware of burnout creeping in? Now is the time to start tuning into YOU.
When you are feeling stressed or anxious (or any other unwanted feeling) or you aren't eating and your self-care is totally out the window, STOP, tune in and find out why. Look at external factors; sleep, work, finances, relationships. Once you know you can make a conscious effort to reduce this from happening again!
2. Kindness & compassion....treat yourself how you treat your friends.
"Do unto you as you would do unto others".
See what I've done?!! Switched this well-known rule up. We have a tendency to treat our friends with kindness and compassion but when it comes to ourselves the standards drop. If you don't treat yourself like the king or queen that you are, then why should anyone else?
3. Set SMART goals....note here its goals and not resolutions. S=specific, M=measurable, A=achievable, R=realistic and T=timebound.
Here is an example; I want to get fit (a classic new year resolution) which don't get me wrong is fantastic but why is it likely that this won't be achieved? Because it isn't specific! So let's turn it into a SMART goal:
S - lose 5 kg
M - weight loss - 5kg overall goal
A - by exercising 30 minutes per day, 5x per week
R - yes I am going to schedule 30 minutes in my day Mon-Fri nd give myself the weekend off
T - 5 weeks (1 kg per week)
Hopefully you are still here and have found this short blog helpful.
I write just like how I talk because that is my vibe and I think it makes it easier to read. I am going to be publishing 1 blog a week as well as other content to help support you.
I am here to make a difference, to make a positive impact in the world as a neurodiversity and mental health advocate.
Thank you for reading my first post of 2024
Tanya 🙏🏽 ✨